Effective Communication creates winning, healthy, good relationships where we are kind to each other, we listen at an empathetic level and we tell the truth.
Creating a healthy relationship is built on integrity, controlling emotions especially temper, eliminating pointing the finger with criticism and condemnation, applying the rule of treating others the way you want to be treated and concentrating on the positive.
The moral definition of Integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is looking. Strong relationships must be built on a strong foundation of trust, honesty and integrity. Trust is confidence in the integrity and abilities of people. The structural definition speaks of the force the structure can withstand or the strength of the foundation or building. In our current culture, integrity matters because without integrity bad things happen.
The top level of Enron management lied, misrepresented financial and economic information, and cheated many people out of millions of dollars of savings and retirement income. The word integrity was in the Statement of Core Values for Enron. The month before the Enron discretions were found and the Company failed, Ken Lay was on the cover of Continental Airlines magazine as a person of integrity. Integrity is displayed when we say what we mean and mean what we say. It is all about taking personal responsibility for individual actions and being a positive example for others. Living a life of integrity brings many benefits such as a life of joy, contentment, satisfaction with nothing to hide or fear. You will become known as loyal and someone who can be counted on in times of need.
A lack of integrity in personal relationships creates mistrust, anger, and non-existent communication. Distrust is suspicion of character, agenda, capabilities and track record. It is important to understand the distinction and the difference between responding and reacting. Responding builds strong relationships because we measure, think, and select our words thoughtfully and very carefully, and act in ways that build positive relationships. Relationships grow stronger where there is trust and encouragement. Reacting creates an environment of fear, negativity and mistrust with thoughtless actions and words. In reacting we use our instincts and behave as if all the trouble in the relationship is the fault of the other person. People act like victims and do not take responsibility for their actions. Relationships erode in the Blame Game environment. In other words, treat others like you want to be treated and the way you want your loved ones treated. On a personal basis, we all want to be treated with kindness, respect, courtesy, love and appreciation.
Build your relationships based on the philosophy of doing and serving others and also looking for the good in others. Look for the positive character in all people. The more we look for the good qualities, the more good qualities we will find. Always praise the performer publicly and criticize a bad performance in private.