Take a PAUSE and Think

Blog 6 August 3, 2020 to August 10,2020
Take a PAUSE and THINK
When I was a Freshman in college, an English Literature professor stated her purpose in life was to get the class to THINK. Some thoughts come to my conscious mind. Is it the truth? Is it helpful to others? Is it inspirational? Is it something needed to be said? Is it kind?
Your thoughts regulate your accomplishments in life. My physical body responds and reacts to the input from my mind. If my mind is full of doubt, disbelief and discouragement, my day will be full of the same things. My thoughts make for a bad day. If I adjust my regulator and push forward to vision, vitality and victory, my thoughts make for a good day. We are what we think about. “As a man thinketh, so is he”.
The mind manufactures and produces millions of thoughts each day. There are two managers in charge of your thoughts. One is positive and named Mr. Achievement/Success and one is negative named Mr. Failure/Non-Achievement.
Mr. Success is in charge of creating wholesome, encouraging, reassuring thoughts. You can face life with victory; you can handle the things that come your way; you are more than able to win and conquer. Mr. Failure is in charge and responsible for depreciating, worrisome thoughts. Mr. Failure develops reasons why you cannot succeed saying, you are inadequate; you should just give up; you will never make it; you should give in to worry, failure, discouragement inferiority and a poor self-image.
Both managers are obedient to the President. That is, YOU. They wait for your signal to go to work. Make a choose to be happy giving a positive signal and Mr. Success goes to work and issues encouraging edifying thoughts flooding your mind with goodness one thought after another.
Mr. Failure is always standing by waiting for your negative signal (he will call this “reality or common sense”. When he gets your signal, he starts with more discouraging, destructive, demoralizing thoughts. He is trying to get you to say I can’t, I will not, or I should not. He will keep up his efforts and in sufficient time he will drain your energy, destroy your confidence and turn you into a frowning tight-lipped fatalistic victim killed by negative thinking.
Your thoughts will grow stronger with constant repetition. Those that are gloomy and gray seem to stay that way. Those that are cheery and bright and enthusiastic always shine.
Happiness is based on right thinking. It has nothing to do with intelligence; your age; or your position in life. Our performance is related directly to the deposits we make in to our minds. You can only draw out what you deposit. Your input determines your output.
What kind of performance would you get from your car if you put dirt in the tank each day? After a while the car would not start. The same thing is true of your life. Narrow, self-destructive, abrasive thoughts produce significant wear and tear on your brain, your mental motor. You will be lying on the side of the road while others pass you by.
You only need one manager in your thought manufacturing factory. You must fire Mr. Failure. Put Mr. Success in charge. His name is Achievement, Success, Wonderful Well-Balanced Life full of joy, abundance and happiness. He is anxious to help and to assist you and is always available.

Do You Respond or React??

Blog 5 Do You Respond or React?
July 26, 2020 to August 3, 2020
Hello, I have had several comments that Blog 3 and Blog 4 had the same date. Oops! My mistake. This should get us back on track. I am still receiving advice on the items to include in the LIFE course for high school students. The question ending the post from last week was “why is Math and History important to LIFE?” The more important question is “why is the study of the two subjects important?” Give some serious thought to this question. We will get back to it next week. I have a major VICTORY TO REPORT.
Several hours ago, I came from a coaching session with a couple (Jan and Dean) who have been married for nine years. We met in November 2019 during mediation divorce proceedings. We were working on the financial settlement. There are no children involved in the marriage. The feelings they had for each other when they married were long gone. We were getting no where in the discussions. There was no effective communication; only yelling, screaming, name calling, cursing and angry bitter comments. I stopped the negotiations and told them to break it up and asked Dean to leave the room. Take a walk, pause and take a deep breath. Think and collect his thoughts. When we got back together, I began by asking them if they were willing to make one last effort to settle the mediation and build a winning relationship. After a few minutes, they both agreed to work my plan. I began by setting out the guidelines for our meetings. There will be no name calling, no cursing and no blaming the other party. All prejudgments, bias and jumping to conclusions will be left outside the room while we discuss options and solutions. There will be measured thoughtful words and actions. They agreed to pause and think 10 seconds before responding.
I explained reacting quickly can build an atmosphere of fear and mistrust. Responding builds an environment for stronger relationships. Jan and Dean are intelligent and self-disciplined. They made a major promise to each other. They would no longer speak harshly to each other. They would no longer complain and talk to their friends about them. Additionally, they agreed to do the homework. We have been meeting every other week for 6 months for 90 minutes each time. The meetings have been virtual and face to face. In just six months their once decaying marriage has indeed resurrected from what was dead and dying. They are committed and joyfully in love.
Jan and Dean were willing to surrender their rights to each other in simple basic terms and build their relationship on character and integrity. They began to control their tempers and eliminated the blame game. In their relationship, they use the Golden Rule of treat people like you want to be treated. They continue to look for the good and build on the positive. Come back next week. Let me know what you are thinking.

LIFE is a journey!

Blog 4 July 13, 2020 to July 19, 2020
LIFE is a journey
Several weeks past, I posted this request. “I am teaching a roomful of 16 and 17-year-olds a course called LIFE. The students are motivated and want to learn. What would you teach them? All things are open for discussion. Thanks for your input.” I was overwhelmed by the responses. Your love and concern for the future leaders of our great Nation was evident in your suggestions. I received more than 200 comments related to all areas of life. The three major topics with the most advice is Personal Self Care, Financial especially budgeting, and Mental Input in becoming a life learner and a better person.
The course of LIFE began in December, 2015 on my first trip to Rwanda with Vern Wortman, President of English in Action. Vern and I met when I presented a keynote address to a group of Health and Wellness Caregivers regarding Effective Communication. Vern asked me if I would give the speech to the staff of a hospital and the Caregivers of orphaned children from six to fourteen in a nonprofit school. I, of course replied “yes, let’s have coffee and discuss the details.” We met several days later when he told me the hospital was in Rwanda. I said, “isn’t that in Africa? God told me years ago if I became a Christian I would not have to go to Africa.” Vern stated, “God changed His mind, He wants you to go.” How could I refuse God? Several days later, after much prayer, I agreed to go.
The country of Rwanda was 20 years past the genocide where the historical record will show the failure of humankind in Rwanda. More than 800,000 men, women and children mostly Tutsis were killed by ethnic Hutu extremists in 100 days. The United Nations failed to respond to the moral cowardice and allowed the catastrophe to happen in Rwanda.
The majority of our students were from families who died in 1994 and lived in Kibogora on the shores of Lake Kivu, the fifth largest lake in the world and the beautiful hills. It is about 100 miles from the capital city of Kigali. Approximately 5% of live births die before the age of five. Poverty, malaria, AIDS and other debilitating diseases continue to have a devastating effect on many lives. While in Rwanda I traveled to several areas looking to raise money for the individual caregivers so they could take care of the children. I spoke to Rotary clubs, Toastmaster clubs and church organizations including several presentations at the University of Rwanda in Kigali. Additionally, I taught Effective Communication, Time Management and Leadership at the school to the older students. I had an outstanding assistant and translator.
I did not intend to discuss my trip to Rwanda in this detail. I will continue next time focusing on the responses that are being incorporated in the course, LIFE. Questions for you. Why is Math and History important to LIFE? Until next time.